Friday, 17 November 2000

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 28


You begin to fiddle with the locking mechanism at your wrist, but you quickly realise any attempt is futile. Not only that, you’ve now lost your chance to run! The robots are upon you. Soon you will be taken back to the lab for interrogation by the robots’ Gangster masters.

You can save yourself some pain and spill all the Spy Agent secrets, or attempt to endure what the Gangsters inflict and keep the precious information from them. Either way, this mission is at an end.

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 27


It’s pant-wettingly close, but just as the baby makes a grab for you, you manage to achieve enough velocity and take to the skies. You glide away, out of the baby’s reach and turn your attention to finding the lab. You’re certain the lab must be here, and the baby its guard.

There it is!

If only you still had your missiles! You could have taken out the base from the air! But life is never so simple. You land the car and leap out, gun at the ready. And you need it, for an army of evil robots is approaching!

You take the first couple down with your gun, but then it runs dry of bullets. All you have left to defend yourself is your briefcase. How much use is that? The robots appear to be slow-moving. Maybe if you managed to get the case off your wrist you’d be able to run past them?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 26


Are those red things on the wheel tyre-slashers? You don’t know for sure, but figure as long as you think they’re tyre slashers that might be enough for them to be slashy for long enough to shred the leaves and put you on your way to freedom!

With the Grasslands a disappointment, you put the car into gear and head for the Stonelands. Surely the Gangster lab must be there?

24 – Go to the Stonelands

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 25


You try to drive, dropping the flap at the rear of the car to engage the turbo engines, but you’re not fast enough. This baby can move and she can pick up quite a speed when she wants to.  Big Baby has a hold of you and you’re moving closer and closer to her gnashing jaws. A future of drool awaits…

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 24


The Stoney Wastelands! You drive slowly, taking in all the details. The car glides smoothly across the terrain with its rubber tyres.

You gently bring the car to a halt.  Is that it?  Is that the laboratory, hidden away back there?

It would be easier to avoid detection if you left the car behind and got a closer look on foot.  You climb out of the car, in doing so brushing past the missile-launch switch on the side of the car.  You curse whoever put the switch in such an easy to accidentally-press place!

The missiles streak forward and explode! If the Robo Gangsters are here, then they certainly know you’re coming now.

There’s a noise behind you. Then one forward. You’re surrounded! You jump back into the car. There are no missiles left to fire – your only hope is to ram your way to freedom. But forward or back?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 23


You spin the car around in an attempt to flee back the way you had come. You know for certain that way as clear a moment ago so maybe the enemy aren’t too dense that way yet.

You put your foot to the floor. If you can pick up enough speed maybe you can get airborne.

Then you see it: a giant baby!

Your speed is increasing, but the baby is coming up fast. Do you have time to deploy the wings and take to the skies, or should you continue on the ground?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 22


You begin to swing the briefcase round and round on your wrist. Faster and faster the case spins, becoming nothing more than a blurr…

Of course this is absolutely all the spinning achieves. Trying to blow away a giant pile of leaves by spinning a briefcase was really quite a stupid idea and you’re still as stuck as you were before. At least no one saw you doing it.

You climb back into the car and look for the radio to contact MUM back at base and get her to send someone to come and rescue you. The mission has ended in a humiliating failure.

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 21


Another shot is fired! It’s a Robo Gangster! He moves closer to get a better aim. You desperately try to fire your gun back at him.

Once again the Gangster fires, and this time you are not so fortunate. The shot strikes you in the shoulder. The pain is almost unbearable. Why did no one ever think to inform you that being shot was so painful?

As you lie on the ground, blood spurting from your shoulder, the Gangster stands above you. His gun is pointing at your head. Your fate is completely in his hands.

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 20


Something it’s approaching. It’s definitely not a Robo Gangster, or one of their evil robot minions.  Is it an elephant? That’d be a slightly strange thing to… Oh no!  It’s a…


The baby is reaching for you! You need a plan! The adrenalin is kicking in, so: fight or flight!

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 19


You arrive in the Ocean Realm. Everywhere is submerged in water! The laboratory can’t possibly be here, can it? Exploration is going to be difficult and you wish you’d brought the torpedo and diving gear instead of the car and a smart suit.

Since you’re here now, you decide you might as well have a quick search of the area anyway before moving on. But should you abandon the car to do so?

2 – Stay in the car. Who knows what this beautiful machine can do, right?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 18


You attempt to mount Panthor, but quickly uncover two problems. First, you’re far too small and lack the necessary leg articulation to sit on Panthor. Second, Panthor is Skeletor’s evil cat – his evil, hungry cat!

Skeletor watches, laughing manically, as Panthor eats you all up!

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 17


With a gentle brush of your hand on the switches located on the sides of the car, you fire your missiles. They are sent crashing into the target.

For a moment there is only silence and then…

The baby looks down at the missiles that have hit her leg. She seems a little surprised. She picks up the missiles and pops them into her mouth, the rubbery tips sticking out from between her lips. She completely ignores you as she begins to chew on these! You are free to flee!

The missiles are too large for the baby to swallow – in fact there are very few small pieces at all on the car, just your handgun and the chain linking you to the briefcase – but Baby’s mummy doesn’t care.

You shot her daughter and she’s mighty angry about it!

You abandon your car as the giant mummy makes a grab for it, placing it and the missiles on a high shelf and muttering something about ‘confiscated’.

With your equipment lost you have no choice but to head back to headquaters to report your failure to MUM.

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 16


You fly towards the metal structure. It’s huge! At the peak is some kind of fabric enclosure. There’s a window near the top, but you can’t see through to what is inside. Circling round you spot two large doorways.

Suddenly you hear gunfire! What do you do now?

9 – Go back to the tree line. The enclosure is obviously far too big to be a Robo Gangster base. Whatever the noise was, it has nothing to do with your mission.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 15


Deciding that the Ocean Realm is a dead end in your investigation you decide to move on.

To speed the journey to your next location you switch to flight-mode, deploying the wings from beneath and the tail fins at the rear. Doing so you dislodge the car windows – it's so annoying that they fall off so easily!

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 14


You begin to swing your briefcase round and round by the chain. You always wondered what it was for – its not like it opens so you can put anything in it – and now you know: it’s your last line of defence.

If you have a problem, if no one else can help: rely on your briefcase!

You smash through the line of robots. The robots are confused– they weren’t designed to battle briefcases and lack the necessary programming to defend themselves from them – so stand on the spot, awaiting instruction from their masters.

The laboratory is ahead of you. The enemy base is completely defenceless, the Robo Gangsters having relied completely on the robots for defence.

The power core isn’t hard to find, neither is the big red button with ‘do not press’ written on it in large letters. A second later a countdown has begun, which leads to explosive results…

Meanwhile you are on your way back to headquarters, mission complete. Once there you’ll receive your next assignment. Work never ends when you’re a Top Agent!

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 13


You arrive at the Grasslands, where everything is lush and green (although, being Autumn, things are slightly less leafy than usual - at least on the trees). Using the flight-mode on your car you begin an aerial sweep of the terrain.

There are two directions you can take the search: towards the trees or investigate the strange metal structure you have spotted.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 12


You put your foot to the floor and the car speeds away from the Land of the Giants. With its rubber tyres, smooth ride, not to mention the turbo boosters are the rear, you’re soon far away from any potential danger.

Or are you?

There’s the sound of a shot. Do you stay and investigate like the brave agent you should be, or put your foot down and really test out the turbo boosters?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 11


Technician DAD is found sat, twiddling his thumbs, desperate for something to do. He leaps at the chance to help you and soon takes over the entire job. You look on, slightly annoyed, as he builds the car all by himself. He has no trouble at all following the instructions and within a couple of minutes it is completed.

It’s now time to head out on the search for the robot laboratory. Where will you begin the hunt?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 10


You press the accelerator and speed forward, but now shots are raining down on you and the car. It’s only due to your extensive driving training that you’re able to dodge most of them.

Disaster! The car hits a bump in the road and rolls onto its back.  You crawl out, but another shot is fired, this one zipping close to your ear.  Using the car as cover as best you can, you peer out.  Ahead is a large army of enemy robots defending the base. There seems to be no way past them.

Another shot whizzes past your head and you duck down. That one came from behind. Checking your handgun you discover you have only one bullet remaining. Enough to take out the lone attacker behind, perhaps, but definitely not enough for all the robots before you.


There’s always the briefcase you’ve been carrying around all this time.  Perhaps you could use that somehow? It sounds like an insane plan, but maybe…

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 9


It’s damp and cold by the trees.  It’s so fragrant here in the summer when the flowers are in bloom, but the rotting leaves have a much more pungent odour.  The leaves litter the ground everywhere.  In fact, a giant pile of leaves have fallen on top of your car and trapped you! You knew it was a mistake landing here!

How are you going to escape?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 8


It’s just a small child with a gun! Although - being a small child from the Land of the Giants – he isn’t really that small! To him it’s a small gun, to you it’s a weapon of mass destruction!

You attempt to fly away, but the bullets keep on zipping towards you. You lose control of the car and plough into the ground far, far below.

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 7


A wise choice. The Agent car has many features which will be useful on the mission. MUM has also supplied you with the standard issue handgun and a briefcase full of stuff so secret it has to be attached to your wrist by a chain. The contents are so secret that the briefcase cannot actually be opened.

However, due to prolonged industrial action by the engineering department regarding the chocolate biscuits in the staff cafeteria, the car has yet to be assembled.  As tempting as it is to use this as an excuse to take the day off, your dedication to duty means you decide to take on the job yourself.

Looking at the numerous pieces, you are suddenly a little nervous. Can you do this all by yourself and prove your independence? Or would it be better to ask technician codename D.A.D. for help?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 6


You get out of the water and have a swim around, getting your nice suit all wet as you do so. Luckily the briefcase is buoyant and you use that as a floatation device to assist you.

After a while, having made slow – and no – progress, you give up and decide to head on to the Grasslands or maybe even the Stone Wastelands. Hopefully you’ll be more successful there.

24 – Go to the Stoney Wastelands

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 5


You’re a young agent, barely 5 years old, and while you give it your best shot to construct the car alone, you can’t quite manage all the fiddly bits. Looking at the box, it’s no surprise as it clearly states ‘7-12 years’.

MUM enters the garage with some new intel. She sees your car-building predicament and offers to help you.

Once construction is completed, MUM shares the intel: the location of the robot laboratory has been narrowed to either the Stoney Wastelands or the Grasslands.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 4


You arrive in the Land of the Giants. For some reason you thought the name was a euphemism, but no! Everything is HUGE!

There is a distant rumbling sound. Is it an army of Gangster robots? Have you found the secret lab? The noise is getting louder and louder – should you stay and find out or turn and run?

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 3


You continue to stay in the Ocean Realm, swimming in the water and playing about with your car. You’ve been here so long now that the water’s gone cold and you begin to consider getting on with your mission.

Suddenly a huge sea monster emerges from the depths! You attempt to fire your missiles, but they’re no where near as effective in water as they are on land!

The sea monster continues his advance, his hand moves towards you. You fire your handgun, but learn to late that the gun doesn’t actually fire! It’s simply a piece of plastic!

You curse your fate as the monster moves in for the final attack…

The End.

Toyologist Review: Playmobil Agents Car 2


You’ve always had a reckless streak so you put your foot to the floor and drive. You shoot off the edge of the bank and zoom towards the ocean.

To your surprise you land gently on the surface of the water. The car floats! Now the twin propellers at the rear of the car make sense! They don’t turn round of course, but they must help move the car somehow, right? Looking at the various holes around the car, you're not completely certain whether the car will take a submerging (especially those springs for the missiles) but it's certainly capable of taking a gentle drive on the water.

You’re having so much fun you have almost forgetten about your mission. It’s so peaceful and quiet… There’s no laboratory here, that’s for certain. MUM won’t mind if you stay another few minutes and continue to relax, will she?